


Presidential Announcements

by AngelicMissPretty, peanutbutter_kitz



Category: Borderlands
Genre: ...ACCIDENTAL Public Sex, Blow Jobs, Drunk!Rhys, Established Relationship, M/M, Nicknames, Office Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, RIP Helios, Rhys is a dork, Suggestive Themes, but he's JACK'S dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 07:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5699644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicMissPretty/pseuds/AngelicMissPretty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutter_kitz/pseuds/peanutbutter_kitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’d think Jack would know by now that mixing Rhys, alcohol, and a tannoy connected to every speaker in Helios could only spell disaster.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, on the day of their first anniversary, Jack makes the terrible decision to buy Rhys a bottle of wine. </p>
<p>Eight glasses later, Jack regrets his decision.</p>
<p>(A PITCHJACK/ANGELICMISSPRETTY COLLAB OF TRASH)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Presidential Announcements

**Author's Note:**

> YOOOOO~! ❤ Me and PitchJack have been working on this lil collab for AGES!! We hope y'all enjoy Rhys being a drunk, loved-up dork.
> 
> THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!! it took forever and our plans were messy as hell, but!! PitchJack ilysm ❤ 
> 
> (...definitely expect more collabs in the future, k? :3)

Rhys sighed, resting his head in his hands, moving his fingers upwards to card through his hair as the minutes ticked by, slower and _slower_.

The work day had been _so long_.

The sales department was normally backlogged with reports and reviews – and they were usually piled particularly high at this time of year. However, Rhys had managed to take care of everything today and now there was literally _nothing_ to do. To make matters even worse, it was his and his boyfriend’s anniversary today. A whole year of being together had passed and Rhys was supposed to meet him at his office at the end of the work day; he had four minutes left on the clock and it couldn’t be going any slower. Rhys sighed again, the last time he’d done so felt like ages ago.

“C’mon…” the brunette muttered to himself as he glanced over to the clock next to the department’s doorway. What he hadn’t expected, however, was to see Handsome Jack stood there – eyes scanning the workplace dauntingly – waltzing through Rhys’ worried co-workers’ cubicles as a shortcut to get to the aforementioned company man.

“So, I can see you’re doing a lot of work there…” Jack began, leaning on the cubicle wall like he owned the place (which, Rhys figured, was actually kind of true), looking down, arms folded tightly across his chest, “…Rhysie.”

“Well, that’s what happens when your department has such a good manager that everyone finishes their homework on time.” Rhys joked, sticking his tongue out at the CEO as Jack threw him a grin.

“So, you’re just gonna sit here and slack off, Mr. I’m-a-good-manager?”

“Very funny.” Rhys retorted, rolling his eyes, turning his chair to face the other man. “Besides, don’t _you_ have work you need to be doing? You said you were busy, that’s why I was gonna meet you at your office.” He reminded, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d be a gentleman and blow work off to come all the way down here to pick you up.” Jack replied, walking further into the cubicle to place his hands on the arms of Rhys’ chair, caging the younger man in and leaning into his personal space, leaving their faces close enough to feel each other’s breath.

“Gee, _thanks_. My hero.” Rhys replied sarcastically, pretending to express his disapproval of the older man’s actions. Not that he’d ever admit it, but secretly, Rhys was very happy. The fact that Jack had left work early and travelled down _nineteen floors_ just to pick him up and take him to the penthouse made Rhys feel utterly loved – accompanied by a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest that made him feel like a teenager again.

Laughing at his boyfriend’s sarcasm, Jack leaned forward even more and pressed his lips to Rhys’, sharing with the brunette a chaste kiss before he stood back up again.

“You ready to go, kitten? Gotta get you ready for the fancy ass dinner I’m gonna take you to tonight.” Jack cooed, taking hold of the sales worker’s hand, leading him with a grin towards the elevator.

“You gonna tell me which restaurant you’re taking me to yet?” Rhys inquired, hopeful.

“Hell no! It’s a secret, baby, I want this date to be an absolute surprise! It’s going to be _perfect_.” Jack replied, swapping his hand from Rhys’ to rest it on the younger’s hip, pulling him closer as the two matched each other’s steps.

“Well then, I can’t wait.” Rhys grinned.

“Well then,” Jack repeated affectionately, allowing his boyfriend to step into the elevator as they reached it, “neither can I.”

Rhys giggled at the CEO’s sense of humour as Jack pressed the button to his penthouse, scanning his thumb on the touchpad to grant him access to the otherwise off-limits floor.

“You sure I won’t get in trouble for leaving my shift early? I mean, there was like, three minutes left on the clock.” Rhys wondered out loud, tapping his foot on the floor as the elevator gradually ascended the floors of Helios.

“Seriously?” Jack let out a laugh, walking closer to Rhys and reaching out to pinch his cheek. “You think someone’s gonna tell on you, baby boy?”

“Ugh, Jack!” Rhys protested, swatting his boyfriend’s hand away and rubbing his now-reddened cheek. “No, I don’t think someone’s gonna tell on me.”

“Oh, you know I wouldn’t let anything happen to my special boy!” The CEO joked, following the younger man as he stormed out of the elevator upon their arrival to Jack’s floor.

Rhys made his way into the familiar living space of Jack’s penthouse, walking into the older man’s bedroom and sitting on the king-sized bed, feigning annoyance. Rhys turned his head as Jack entered the room, crossing his legs and folding his hands over his chest.

“Oh, kitten, I was only teasing.” The older man said apologetically, lifting himself onto the bed to plant a kiss on his boyfriend’s neck. “Come on, let’s get you all dressed up.” Jack went on, taking a few steps back from Rhys, opening the regal-looking wardrobe situated in the corner of the room.

The CEO pushed aside his clothes to show the brunette a small collection of his own fancy suits, which had accumulated in Jack’s house over the course of their relationship from times when Rhys had stayed the night after dinner parties and other special dates. Rhys’ pseudo-annoyance faded away as Jack pulled out the younger man’s favourite outfit, which consisted of a white shirt with matching burgundy skinny trousers and a blazer, coupled with a burgundy tie.

“You look sexy as _fuck_ in this one, babe.” Jack said as he handed the outfit to Rhys, who jumped off the bed to grab the coat-hanger before bending down to grab his shiny brown boots from the bottom of the wardrobe.

“Why, thank you.” Rhys said with a smirk, laying his suit down on the bed to pull out a tight, baby-blue shirt and a smart pair of dark denim jeans from Jack’s side of the closet. “And you look sexy in _this_.”

The older man took the clothes from Rhys’ hands as the brunette reached back in, adding a grey trench coat, a classy golden watch and Jack’s favourite belt – which was made of dark brown leather with a golden _H_ as the buckle – to the outfit.

The couple got ready quickly; Jack was eager to treat his beloved boyfriend to the fancy meal he deserved and Rhys was all too excited to see which restaurant the CEO had decided upon.

“I love you, cupcake.” Jack smiled sentimentally from his place stood next to the dressing table, dabbing Rhys’ favourite brand of cologne onto his neck as he watched Rhys try meticulously to comb the stray, short strands that refused to be gelled back against his head. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do! I love you too, you big softie.” Rhys giggled as he set his comb and pot of hair-gel down, looking at himself in the mirror. “How do I look?”

“Fucking _perfect_.” The older man grinned, admiring the way Rhys’ tight slacks hugged him in all the right places. “Now, princess. Let’s get this show on the road.”

…

"This water tastes… kinda _weird_..." Rhys slurred, sloshing the liquid around in his wine glass.

"S’not water. Dom Perignon, babe – something you've been drinking too much of, clearly." Jack chuckled, moving his hand across the table to take hold of Rhys' glass. He would've taken it away from him too, if the kid didn't start pawing at his wrist, eventually taking it back, sipping it down. The liquid slipped down Rhys’ throat and disappeared before Jack could say otherwise.

" _Dom Perignon_..." Rhys recited as he slurred, a fit of giggles taking over his words as he sounded out the syllables.

"O-kay, no more alcohol for you, sweet-cheeks." The other man sighed, resting his head in his hand, watching Rhys lean back in his chair, wiping tears from his eyes over the apparent hilarity of the words ‘Dom Perignon’.

"Would you like another drink, sirs?" Their waitress offered as she walked up to their table, holding out a fresh bottle of the expensive wine they’d been drinking.

"Yeaaaah!" Rhys grinned, holding out his hands, reaching toward her like a child would for candy.

"No way, kiddo. You've had _way_ too much of this stuff to be considered sober anymore. Do me a favour sweetie, grab us the bill? I think it's probably best if I take this one home." Jack requested, switching his attention to the waitress for a brief second before taking a hold of Rhys' wrists and holding them down on the table lightly.

"Aw, spoilsport." Rhys whined, falling back into the back of his chair, folding his arms across his chest in a tantrum.

“Well, baby boy, excuse me for wanting you to remember our anniversary dinner.” Jack said, reaching down into his jeans’ pocket to pull out his wallet. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

"I could've handled _one_ more, Jacky." Rhys muttered, looking away from the older man, puffing his chest out.

"Whatever you say, princess. Let's just enjoy the night, OK? I'll take you back up to the penthouse, we can settle down, watch a movie..." the CEO offered, waggling his eyebrows at the younger man.

"Or, we could play scrabble!" Rhys exclaimed, a little more excited than he should've been.

"I really, really hope that’s some sort of weird nerd euphemism." The older man hesitated, handing over some cash to the waitress. "Thanks for the meal, honey,” the CEO said to her as he stood from his seat, watching Rhys struggle to stand without the help of leaning on the table, “see you next time."

“Yes, see you soon, sirs.” She smiled, clearing the table for the next set of customers as the pair began to walk away from the restaurant.

"C'mon baby boy, stay upright for me." Jack chuckled, looping one arm around his boyfriend’s lithe waist, the other held onto his mechanical hand, helping Rhys walk as normally as possible so not to draw attention to themselves as they exited the restaurant and walked down the corridor.

However, even though Jack was up for a _normal_ walk back up to his penthouse, Rhys seemingly had other ideas.

“Carry me like a princess, Jack!” Rhys shouted, throwing himself dramatically into the older man’s arms and trying his best to drunkenly wrap his legs around Jack’s hips.

The CEO was taken aback, almost stumbling backwards as he steadied himself on a nearby wall, trying his best to get his arms around Rhys so he could carry him despite the crazy position the brunette had gotten himself into – a mess of tangled limbs and giggles.

“God, baby, how many glasses of that stuff did you have?” Jack questioned, hoisting Rhys up to rest a hand on the younger man’s neck, placing the other on the small of his back for good measure.

“This many!” Rhys giggled before replying, pulling away from Jack’s embrace to show the older man the number eight with his fingers.

“That many, huh?” Jack replied condescendingly, but his mockery flew straight over Rhys, who instead decided that Jack’s shirt buttons were much more interesting than the conversation he was having. “What’re you up to there, baby?” The CEO asked as Rhys began to undo the clasps, rubbing his small hands over Jack’s chest.

“Your shirt looks _so_ good when it’s undone, Jacky.” Rhys grinned, shifting his hips around and grinding down on Jack’s abdomen, licking his lips as he pulled at the collar of Jack’s shirt. Jack, on the other hand, gave the brunette an incredulous look.

“Save it for when we get indoors, sugar.” He quipped, stepping into the elevator once he’d reached it with Rhys in tow.

“But…” Rhys whinged, high-pitched and needy, sticking his bottom lip out shamelessly, “but I can’t help it if you make me a horny little boy.”

“Drinking gives you the motor mouth, huh?” Jack continued as he hit the button on the elevator to send him to his office, trying his best to remain cool despite the dirty expression on Rhys’ face and the lewd tone in his voice.

“Don’t you want to touch me?” Rhys went on, unfazed by Jack’s comment, grinding much more harshly against the older man to make his arousal crystal clear. The brunette leaned in, lapping at Jack’s jawline with his tongue and sucking before whispering into the CEO’s ear. “Don’t you want me to make you feel good?”

“Kitten…” Jack warned as the elevator _binged_ , opening its doors and granting the two access to Jack’s private office.

“I want you so bad, Jack.” The younger man whined, moaning in approval as Jack finally leant in for a tender, passion-filled kiss. “Mm…”

Jack looked around the office, scanning it quickly for a place where he could sate his lust for the drunken company man.

After a moment, he finds the perfect place. Keeping his hands under Rhys’ thighs, rubbing small circles with his thumbs, he carried the younger man to the desk, clearing the contents from the top of the table by swiping his arm across the surface, the various files and folders toppling to the floor. Laying him down, Jack kept his hands on Rhys, moving them from his thighs to his chest. Rhys’ back hit the desk, rather roughly, as Jack’s eager hands pushed him down.

“Ngh-!” Rhys moaned, his hips bucking up slightly as Jack slowly began to unbutton the younger man’s shirt, pressing loving kisses onto Rhys’ bare chest.

“So cute.” Jack muttered, the words sinking into Rhys’ flesh as he murmured into the brunette’s pale skin.

“J-Jack-!” Rhys stammered as his legs wrapped around the older man’s waist again, pulling him closer, grinding more against his abdomen.

“What’s up, baby?” Jack teased, licking a stripe up the middle of Rhys’ torso.

“ _C’mooooon_!” The brunette whined, clawing at Jack’s broad back.

“So eager… Maybe I should buy you Dom Perignon more often.” Jack purred, ignoring his boyfriend’s whines, continuing to press kisses down his stomach, passing his navel and lingering on his trousers’ waistband.

“Just- ah-!” Rhys began, quickly abandoning his sentence, pushing Jack away and fiddling with his own belt buckle, becoming tired of the torturous lack of stimulation he was receiving. Needless to say, Rhys was willing to sort himself out if Jack wouldn’t.

“Ah, ah, kitten! Keep your hands away.” Jack ordered, grabbing Rhys’ hands by the wrists, holding them above his head and undoing the belt with his free hand, quickly whipping it off and throwing it somewhere across the room. Certain that Rhys’ hands would stay above his head, the older man moved back to working open Rhys’ trousers, palming the erection suppressed by the pieces of clothing covering it.

Rhys moaned at the touch, squirming slightly and trying desperately to keep his hands still, trying his best to look away from the older man’s predatory gaze as blush crept onto his cheeks. Instead, the brunette’s eyes fell on the tannoy hooked up to Jack’s computer. As sneakily as he could despite his drunken state, Rhys subtly reached over and scraped his fingertips over the loudspeaker box, slowly dragging it towards himself so Jack wouldn’t notice.

“Mm!” Rhys yelped as his boxers were tugged down his thighs, feeling the sensation of Jack’s fingers skating over his stomach, trailing downwards to touch his erection lightly. The younger man watched from the corner of his eye as Jack’s head went lower, and Rhys couldn’t help the way he subconsciously vaulted upwards as he felt the older man’s tongue press flush against his tip.

“Easy, kitten, you’re getting a tiny bit ahead of yourself there.” Jack scolded mockingly, resting a hand against his boyfriend’s lithe hip, pushing the younger man down slightly, pinning him to the desk. Rhys’ hand gripped against the tannoy as Jack took all of him in his mouth; tongue and lips meshing together, eliciting meek little moans and whines of pleasure from the younger male.

“You close already, baby boy?” Jack asked, only pulling away slightly, muffling his breathy words against Rhys’ skin. Even so, the CEO’s eyes are still fixed to the brunette’s hips, causing Rhys to grin mischievously as his finger hovered over the loudspeaker’s button.

“Good evening, Helios!” Rhys spoke loudly into the tannoy, his drunken, excited voice reverberating around the walls of the space station. “This is an official Hyperion announcement from the office of Handsome Jack!”

For the first time in his life, Jack was left speechless. Slack-jawed, he leaned upwards, watching as his normally reserved boyfriend lied there with his legs wide open, speaking into the Helios tannoy without a care in the world.

“I would like to remind you all that Handsome Jack is the bestest, handsomest, most charming, amazing guy in the fucking solar-system.” Rhys went on, slurring his words in a drunken state of arousal and dreaminess. “Jack is the hunkiest guy alive and… he makes me feel good…”

“Princess, what on earth is going through your mind right now-” Jack wondered out loud, reaching forward to take the loudspeaker box away from the drunken brunette, but his sentence was cut-off by Rhys swatting him away with his hand.

“ _SH_! I’m not finished!” The younger man scolded, sitting up on the desk, his full attention now fixated on the speakerphone in his hands. “My Jacky is fearless and smart and I love him. I don’t know what I’d do if Jack wasn’t there to protect me. He’s my _hero_.”

The CEO smirked, moving to sit down in his grand, yellow-leather chair. Normally, Rhys wasn’t one for dishing out sappy compliments – much less to such a large audience – but Jack revelled in how much of his boyfriend’s real feelings were being poured out. Keen to have his ego stroked, Jack rested his back on the recliner, watching the younger man intently.

“And he’s _not_ some sort of ruthless dictator, okay?” Rhys said as if he was scolding the residents of Helios, both of his hands clasping around the comm device defiantly. “He’s the sweetest boyfriend ever. And even though he runs this stupid mega corporation, he _still_ has time to take me out on fancy dates and treat me like a princess. So, there.”

Rhys looked down triumphantly at the tannoy as if he’d just won an argument, smiling to himself in an intoxicated mix of pride and smugness. However, despite the shower of compliments he’d just received, Jack was eager for more.

“Well, pumpkin, ain’t there anything else you want to say about this sexy boyfriend of yours?” The older man enthused, leading Rhys on to speak again.

“Oh, yeah!” Rhys gushed, looking up from the tannoy to meet Jack’s smug heterochromatic eyes with his own, smiling wide and innocently. “I have tons more to say about my snuggle muffin!”

Jack’s expression dropped, eyes wide open with shock and disdain, despising the sound of Rhys announcing the very _private_ nickname the two shared to the entirety of the Hyperion Corporation. The CEO gave Rhys a look of condescension, but the younger man’s expression said it all; he was far too drunk to understand what he was saying.

“Like that time when you blew off work to eat ice cream with me all day? It was so cute of you.” Rhys reminisced, putting on his best fake-Jack voice. “ _Nah, baby, I’m sure those idiots won’t blow up the space station while I’m gone. I’ll just ring in and say there was an emergency or something._ You made me marathon Gossip Girl all day… and then you cried while we were watching The Notebook when Noah turns to Allie and says-”

“Baby, you give me that mic.” Jack said with an air of urgency, standing up to tower over Rhys, who giggled and scooted further back onto the desk, speaking into the tannoy again.

“And my cuddle bug _loves_ it when we take baths together. You know, he says that he sets up all the candles and rose petals to be romantic, but part of me just thinks he likes the way his bathroom looks covered in pink and glitter.”

“Okay,” Jack ordered as he reached over the desk, trying his best to lean over far enough and grab the device from Rhys’ hands, “time to stop now, cupcake.”

“And another thing! I thought _I_ drooled in my sleep! But damn, I wake up in the morning and he’s snoring like _crazy_ -” The brunette went on, completely not listening to Jack’s warnings, ducking away from his boyfriend’s hands as he tried desperately to cease the comm from Rhys.

“Let go of the _damn speaker_ , kitten.” Jack warned, frustration lacing his tone, as he climbed onto the desk with his hands and knees to try and wrestle the device away from the younger man. “You little shit! Give me the mic, Rhys!”

Jack's fingers caught Rhys' jacket lapels as he lunged forward, giving him the chance to tug the younger man back slightly. Stumbling on the desk, Rhys lost his grip on the microphone, dropping it, a loud thud echoing in the speakers around Helios.

"Got'cha, kitten." Jack growled, wrapping his arms around Rhys' shoulders, hoisting him back onto the middle of the desk, knees pinning the younger man’s legs together, hands pressing his shoulders down. Of course, it never occurred to the pair that the tannoy would land on its front, holding down the microphone button, ensuring that every word spoken in Jack’s office would be broadcasted around every corner of Helios.

"Well, well, well, Rhysie, looks like you need to learn some manners. Lesson number one,” Jack snarled, “never, _ever_ spill other people’s secrets."

The CEO gripped a handful of the brunette’s ass, squeezing hard and punishing. Rhys whimpered in reply, trying to paw at Jack’s shoulders, but the older man overpowered his attempts, keeping his back flush to the unforgiving desk.

“ _Ngh_ …” Rhys moaned, unable to form a coherent sentence as Jack began where he’d left off earlier, pressing his lips against Rhys’ bare chest, hands travelling low before wrapping around his boyfriend’s erection.

“Y’know, pumpkin, I kinda like you like this; on my desk, held down with your legs spread just for me…” Jack purred, lips trailing down over Rhys’ body as he moved his hands in the opposite direction to touch over his chest. Jack’s tongue poked out between his lips, tasting the pre-cum that was already beading on the tip of Rhys’ cock.

“Jack!” Rhys cried out at the sudden feeling on his sensitive flesh. He felt Jack smirk against him before wrapping his lips fully around his cock, tongue working against the flesh, head bobbing as the younger man squirmed beneath him. Rhys tried to stay still – to just enjoy the feeling and not get ahead of himself, to listen to the wet noises of Jack’s mouth as he worked against his skin. His moaning didn’t seem to stop though, even when he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, they still managed to find a way to escape. Not that it mattered.

Jack liked it when he was loud.

Rhys’ toes curled as Jack’s mouth moved faster, bringing him closer and closer to his release.

“F-fuck, Jack!” Rhys breathed as his hips jerked up slightly, losing control when the pleasure became too much. Jack’s teeth scrapped against his flesh lightly as he felt the brunette’s cock begin to pulse in his mouth, warning him of Rhys’ fast approaching release. Jack didn’t expect any verbal warnings from the younger man given how tipsy he was; the older man was doing his best to ensure that the only things that left Rhys’ mouth were pleasure-filled curses and the CEO’s name, anyway.

Jack stilled himself as another sudden thrust of his hips brought the brunette to orgasm, cum spilling into Jack’s mouth and trickling down his throat in ropes, which was gladly swallowed down. The older man moved away, leaving his boyfriend panting heavily on the desk, the afterglow of orgasm washing over his features.

Jack stilled himself as another sudden vault of Rhys’ hips brings him to orgasm, his cum released into his mouth, ropes hitting the back of his throat and gladly swallowed it down. He moved away, leaving his boyfriend panting heavily on the desk, the after bliss of orgasm washing over him.

“Well then, baby boy, learnt your lesson?” Jack cooed as he stood up and took a couple of steps away from the desk, grabbing a cup of water from the cooler in his office and swigging the cold liquid around in his mouth. After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing from the brunette laid across his table, Jack asked again. “I _said_ , did you learn your lesson?”

“Mm…” Rhys purred meekly, catching his breath. “Yes, Jack.”

“Good, good.” The older man replied as he threw the cup into the trash can before walking back over to Rhys, looking down on the brunette’s fragile form. “Now, it’s time for lesson number two.”

“Huh?”

“Well, Rhysie, you’ve been the one having fun all night.” Jack explained, a smirk growing on his features as he did so. “It’s only fair I get to have some fun too.”

…

For Vaughn and Yvette, the evening had been the same as any other – they finished their shifts on time before meeting up in the Hub of Heroism, and Yvette had pestered the accountant into buying her dinner (which, tonight, the two had decided would be sandwiches from the deli near the cheaper section of the hub’s catering facilities). Of course, usually, the two Hyperion employees’ other best friend would be there to buy them something much fancier with the help of his swanky new payroll after his questionable promotion to the manager of Sales, but the lanky brunette had told them that, sadly, he couldn’t make it tonight.

“Did Rhys actually say _what_ he was doing right now?” Yvette mused nosily, her eyes drifting over to the empty third seat – which she and Vaughn had pulled up out of habit – at their table.

“Nah. From what I could gather when he told me, it was something he was excited about.” Vaughn said in-between bites of his sandwich offhandedly, trying to remember if Rhys had given an actual excuse or not. “A business meeting, maybe? With someone important?”

“Well, either way, I miss him and his fat wallet.” The requisitions employee complained, throwing her half-eaten sandwich back onto her tray. “This sandwich sucks.”

“Same.” Vaughn replied, copying his best friend’s action and putting the sandwich down too.

The two sat in mostly silence, the buzz created by the vast amounts of people in the Hub making up for the lack of sound they were making, save for the occasional gossip or when Yvette decided to show Vaughn something on her phone – or at least, that was until a familiar _BING_ resonated throughout the metallic walls of the space station, signalling its occupants of a presidential announcement. The whole of Helios came to a standstill as the chime came to an end as Vaughn and Yvette looked up at the speakers in disdain.

“Seriously?” Yvette grumbled quietly to Vaughn, shaking her head in contempt. “The workday’s _over_.”

“This had better be a big deal.” The accountant agreed, his irritation evident.

“Good evening, Helios! This is an official Hyperion announcement from the office of Handsome Jack!” A bubbly, all-too-excited voice resounded out of the speakers, and an air of uneasiness washed over the space station. Announcements from Jack’s office were never a sign of good things to come.

Vaughn and Yvette, however, met each other’s eyes with matching levels of complete and utter _horror_.

“You… uh…” Yvette started, nearly falling over her words as she tried to get them out. “You know who that sounds like, right?”

“Well, yeah, but, uh…” Vaughn tried his best to sound reassuring, but his voice shook as his face broke out into the most uncomfortable expression Yvette had ever seen. “I-I’m sure it’s not.”

“I would like to remind you all that Handsome Jack is the bestest, handsomest, most charming, amazing guy in the fucking solar-system.” The voice went on, resounding across every room on Helios, as Hyperion employees shared questionable looks – some of which were being aimed at Vaughn and Yvette, who were also recognising the boy on the speaker.

Yvette leaned over the table, grapping Vaughn by the lapels of his jacket and forcing him to do the same as she whispered forcefully to him. “That’s _Rhys_ , isn’t it?”

Vaughn moved his head in something that resembled a nod.

“What the hell does he think he’s _doing_?!” She exploded, dodging the sets of eyes that had fallen on her.

“Look, just calm down, okay?” Vaughn reasoned. “I’m sure if Rhys would’ve told us if he was… _consorting_ with Handsome Jack. This is all just… a big, _big_ misunderstanding.”

“You know something? ‘Consorting’ doesn’t seem like the right word from where I’m standing.” Yvette went on, trying her best not to listen to the embarrassing things spilling out of her friend’s mouth to the entirety of Helios, especially when Handsome Jack started talking too.

The mic was dropped, but the audio feed was still picking up everything that was going on in the office. Yvette was sat at the table with her hand over her mouth and her eyes shut, contemplating whether or not she should be proud of her best friend for scoring with the president of Hyperion or whether she should slap him for being such a _fucking idiot_.

“I… I feel like this is morally wrong.” Vaughn fretted as the two listened to Rhys moan over the speaker. “I mean, we should do something about this, right?”

“Call him.” Yvette answered abruptly.

“What?”

“ _Call him_.”

Vaughn fumbled around in his pocket, jumping as the speaker played a shamefully loud moan, dialling Rhys’ contact number into his comm as quickly as he could.

“It’s not picking up.” Vaughn replied quickly as he put the receiver to his ear, grimacing as the number refused to connect. “ _WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO_?!”

“You _call him again_!”

…

The phone vibrated noisily against the desk again. Rhys’ hand moved idly towards it before Jack grabbed the wrist and pinned it down, leaving the phone centimetres out of the brunette’s reach. Leaning in close, the CEO brought his lips to Rhys’ ear.

“Don’t be rude, little boy.” He growled, low and quiet, almost a whisper. “Now’s not the time for answering your phone.”

“But it might be important, Jacky…” Rhys whined, trying to bat Jack’s hand away from his own.

“More important than me?” Jack teased as he nipped on the lithe man’s neck, fingers ghosting up his sides.

“ _No_ , but-” Rhys began, but he was interrupted by Jack’s fingers releasing his wrist. “Just try not to make too much noise.” The older man chuckled, winking at Rhys before going back to sucking on his neck again.

Haphazardly, Rhys reached for his vibrating phone and took the call.

“Bro-” A tentative voice spoke over the phone, and Rhys smiled widely, instantly recognising the voice at the other end of the line.

“ _OOOH!_ It’s VAUGHN! HEY, VAUGHN!” Rhys practically shouted, waiting for a moment before he realised that there wasn’t any sound coming from his phone. As he checked the screen, the brunette’s face dropped. “…He hung up on me. Why’d he hang up?”

“Couldn’t care less, sweet-cheeks.” The CEO muttered against the skin of his boyfriend’s neck, shrugging his shoulders.

…

Yvette tutted loudly and smacked her best friend on the arm, her eyes glaring daggers into the small man on the opposite side of the table. “Why the _fuck_ would you put the phone down?!” She interrogated, a scowl evident on her features. “He finally answered!”

“Well, _Yvette_ , I didn’t think he was gonna shout my name out for the whole of Helios to hear.” Vaughn muttered quickly and agitatedly, glancing down at Rhys’ number being displayed on his phone screen.

“For the love of God, call him again.” Yvette urged, repeating the sentence she’d been saying for what felt like the last fifty years, trying her best to reach over the table and press the button that’d call Rhys.

“Why would I do that?!” Vaughn replied nervously, cocking an agitated eyebrow at the requisitions rep. “Look, we’ve already established that it’s our Rhys who’s up there with Jack…”

“That wasn’t the reason we called him.” Yvette argued, her voice crisp and severe. “We’re calling him to tell him that the entire Hyperion corporation is listening to him getting _fucked_ by _Handsome fucking Jack_ and that he needs to turn off the _fucking speaker_ if he wants any chance at salvaging his _fucking dignity_ by the end of all this!”

“Point made.” Vaughn sighed, pressing the call button to his ear, a shrill ringing echoing on the other end. A couple of seconds passed, and the call was answered; Rhys’ voice ricocheting into Vaughn’s ear and across the Helios speakers, muffled by heavy breathing and distant, wet kisses.

“BRO! What’s up, bro?” Rhys drawled drunkenly. A whine escaped the brunette’s lips as Jack scraped his teeth over his neck, causing Rhys’ back to arch up into the ministrations.

“Um…” Vaughn spoke, stuttering slightly as he heard his voice being carried around the space station, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, hoping that Rhys would understand what he was referring to without having to say it. “Well, I… I’m sorry to break this to you, bro, but- uh- the office… mic… thing…”

“Yeah? What ‘bout it?” Rhys slurred.

“Y-you uh… turned it on, yeah? And, w-well… uh, you see, the thing a-about that is…” Vaughn stuttered, dancing around the subject.

Yvette cringed at how badly Vaughn was handling the situation, motioning with an open palm for the accountant to hand her the phone instead.

“Rhys, this is Yvette.” She seethed sharply. “And every single Hyperion employee is listening to you and Handsome Jack screw. The tannoy’s on.”

Rhys exclaimed something inaudible as Jack’s head snapped upwards, looking towards the upturned speakerphone on the floor in horror.

“Fucking piece of-” were the last words that Hyperion heard from the office of Handsome Jack before the speakers cut off, a high-pitched buzz of microphone feedback resonating throughout the halls of Helios before a wave of silence took its place.

…

“Oh my God, Jack, what are we gonna do?!” Rhys cried miserably, bringing a hand up to his mouth as he helplessly and tearfully stared at his boyfriend.

“Look, kitten, it’s fine.” Jack said as he snaked a hand around the younger man’s waist, shushing him as gently as he could. “I’ll sort it out.”

“How am I gonna show my face at work on Monday?!” Rhys exclaimed, trying his best not to cry under the sheer embarrassment he was feeling, tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes despite Jack’s best efforts. “I’m such a stupid-”

“Hey, hey, princess, there’s no need for that.” Jack soothed, his priorities shifting drastically to calming down the company man. He pulled Rhys into a closer embrace, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “Don’t you worry your pretty little self, sugar.”

“I sounded like such a _slut_!” Rhys bawled, and Jack tensed up, desperate to stop his boyfriend from crying as the natural urge to protect Rhys took over.

“Don’t go saying things like that, baby.” The CEO pleaded as he continued to wipe Rhys’ tears away, trying his best to lull the brunette’s emotions.

“But it’s not fair! Nobody was supposed to hear that…” Rhys replied dejectedly, scooting forwards so his head was resting against Jack’s chest, shielding himself from the world.

“At least you won’t be getting any more looks from those pervs in R&D.” Jack chuckled half-heartedly, scooping Rhys up from the desk to sit down on his grand office chair with the younger man in his lap. “Nobody’s gonna mess with you now they all know you belong to the big, bad CEO himself.”

“I just didn’t want everyone to know.” Rhys whimpered, nuzzling into Jack’s chest. “I just… wanted this to be normal.”

Jack sighed as he brought his hand up to stroke his boyfriend’s hair, carding through the combed locks with his fingers. The CEO knew exactly what Rhys was talking about; he completely hated the idea of their relationship being stalked by the press, so Jack kept their fling secret for Rhys’ sake. Of course, Jack wanted nothing more than to waltz around Helios with Rhys, showing him off and flaunting him in front of everyone, but Rhys couldn’t stand the thought of being all over the media. The kid was a recluse who enjoyed his privacy, and Jack respected that.

It was a breath of fresh air. Rhys was the only thing in Jack’s life that was just _his_.

“Well, kiddo, nothing’s normal with me.” Jack finally spoke with a sigh, but immediately regretted saying so, as the sentence seemed to spark more tears from Rhys.

“This is the worst day of my life!” Rhys wailed uncontrollably from his space on Jack’s lap, covering both of his eyes with his hands.

Even if the brunette’s theatrics were brought on by alcohol, there must have been some truth to his words, and the thought made Jack’s heart break.

“…D’you really mean that, Rhys?”

Rhys’ crying stopped immediately.

“No, you big softie.” Rhys said, wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck to pepper him with cheek-kisses, smiling at the way Jack’s serious expression melted as the older man realised Rhys was just being dramatic. “I don’t really mean that.”

“Good. Because I love you, kid.” Jack laughed, leaning into the affection he was receiving from Rhys and titling his head so the brunette’s kisses would land on his lips, each one lasting a little longer than the one before.

“Mm…” Rhys murmured in-between kisses. “I love you too, snuggle muffin.”

The pair laughed, rubbing each other’s noses in giggle-filled eskimo kisses, lips catching together every now and again.

“Y’know, pumpkin,” Jack laughed, “I remember the _real_ worst day of your life.”

“Wait, what?” Rhys spoke, stopped in his tracks, looking down at Jack’s expression and trying to decipher which day he was talking about.

“Oh, yeah, sweetie. You were _so_ embarrassed.” The older man mused, smirking to himself as Rhys pulled a confused face.

“What are you even talking about, Jack?” Rhys asked exasperatedly.

“Well, I’d say it was about a year ago.” Jack said, his smirk growing wider and wider. “I can remember little Rhysie walking up to a man at the photocopier down in Sales. He was tryin’ to deal with a paper jam.”

Rhys’ mouth twisted in revulsion as the memory of how he and Jack met crawled into his mind. “No, no, no, Jack, don’t!” The brunette pleaded, embarrassed.

“And little Rhysie was so helpful. _Oh, sir, let me get that for you_! _You look like you could use a hand_!” Jack mocked, putting on his best impression of Rhys, trying his best to mimic how the younger man had acted. “But ya didn’t realise you just walked up to Handsome Jack, huh, cupcake?”

“I was so scared, Jack!” Rhys argued, defending his past-self’s actions, mentally slapping himself as he remembered how stupid he must’ve looked. “God, I thought you were going to strangle me.”

“Nah, I don’t strangle the cute ones.” Jack said, pinching Rhys’ cheek again.

Rhys swatted his boyfriend’s hand away.

“Dummy.”

…

Rhys' face was still tearstained, accompanied by puffy eyes and a banging headache, but he had finally calmed down, Jack's fingers brushing through his hair being an aid to this.

"How you feelin' now, cutie?" Jack cooed, pressing his hand lightly against the younger man's forehead, pulling the younger man back to lean on Jack’s shoulder.

"Mm..." Rhys sighed, relaxing even further into the man's embrace, sniffling through his reddened nose.

"We'll get it all sorted out. I promise, kitz." Jack vowed.

"Kitz?" Rhys chuckled, cocking an eyebrow at the older man. “That’s a new one.”

"Yeah, it’s short for kitten." Jack purred, pleased with his intellect for thinking of the name.

"No shit, boo-bear." Rhys teased, kissing Jack's jawline.

"You're lucky you’re good lookin' enough to get away with comments like those." Jack smirked, running a finger down Rhys' neck and stopping at the dip between his collar bones, amusement clear in his tone.

"And you're lucky I love you enough to let you call me those nicknames." Rhys retaliated, grinning up at the CEO.

"Well you're lucky that-” Jack began, insistent on having the last word.

"Oh, shut up." Rhys interrupted, moving to straddle Jack's legs, hands pressed either side of his face and pulling him close. Their lips pressed together into a fervent kiss, eager and passionate.

"Say, cupcake, why don't we go upstairs, watch a movie and then head to bed?" Jack asked, his hands coming to rest on the lithe hips in front of him.

"Yeah." Rhys grinned drunkenly, swaying to the side slightly. "Notebook?"

"Ha ha, very funny kiddo." Jack flat lined, pushing the younger man off and standing next to him, a hand circling him and pulling him close. Rhys stumbled slightly, the room beginning to move as Jack lead him toward the elevator.

...

The TV was the only light source in the room as the pair on the couch made themselves comfy, blankets and pillows strewn over them while snacks littered the empty spaces beside their bodies. Jack and Rhys cuddled close to each other as watching the CEO’s totally-not-favourite romantic comedy played on-screen. Jack felt the boy attached to him sigh tiredly, causing him to look down at Rhys, who was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You look so cute right now, my special boy." Jack breathed, a hand brushing lightly through the younger's hair as he smiled genuinely down at the sleepy form beneath him.

"So do you." Rhys grinned, earning a scowl from Jack.

"I am not cute!” Jack began to retaliate, Rhys interrupted jokingly.

"Handsome, sexy, good-looking, perfect…" Rhys listed, counting the words off on his fingers, his grin shifting to a smile filled with warmth, "I know, I'm the one that told you."

Jack leant down slightly to press a chaste kiss to his lips, before he returned to watching the movie, the sound of tired, shallow breaths lulling him to tiredness too. It wasn’t too long after that when Rhys nodded off against Jack’s side, arms wrapped around the older man and the blankets around him, searching for warmth. Being the gentleman that he was and since Rhys looked so comfortable, Jack decided to leave him where he was until the movie was finished. That way, if Rhys woke up while Jack was moving him upstairs, the kid would’ve had at least _some_ sleep.

When the movie credits finally rolled, the CEO made sure that everything was switched off before sliding his arms – slowly, carefully – under his boyfriend’s sleeping form, pulling Rhys up into his hold and carrying him gently to the bedroom. Rhys’ head hung back slightly, causing his lower jaw to slacken. The brunette’s lips to parted ever so beautifully, and Jack looked down with a smile to the bundle in his arms.

So what if Helios, or the press, or the entire freaking solar system knew about their relationship? Rhys was still all his – his escape from the pressures of work and the stressful reality Jack had found it hard to cope with until the company man had waltzed into his life. Rhys was the one person Jack came home for; to just hold him in his arms and soak up the gorgeous, amazing warmth his body gave out.

It felt nice to have someone to worry about.

...

“Ugh…” Rhys whined as he woke up, thrashing about lazily in the piles of duvets he’d nested himself into, reaching around in the warmth of the bed to paw at his boyfriend’s side.

Jack snored loudly as Rhys moved himself closer to the older man, resting his ear on the side of the older man’s chest to listen to the rumbles that came with each deep breath. Strangely enough, Rhys had always been comforted by Jack’s immensely loud snoring, enjoying how protected he felt in a room full of the CEO’s noises.

“Jack…” The younger man breathed out, whiny and needy, rubbing his hand over his boyfriend’s abdomen in hopes of waking him up. “Jack, I need breakfast.”

After a moment or so of complaining, the older man’s snoring ceased.

“Well, I guess life ain’t all daisies and sunshine when you blow your boyfriend’s hard-earned cash on fancy wine, now is it?” Jack spoke, his eyes still closed.

“ _Please_.” Rhys pleaded, rubbing his leg against Jack’s affectionately. “I’ll love you forever and ever.”

“You’d sell your soul to Handsome Jack for a bowl of cereal?” The older man replied amusedly, groggy and unwilling to move from the safe confides of his bed. “I always knew you were an idiot, Rhysie, but this takes the cake.”

“I didn’t say that.” Rhys corrected, sitting up to straddle Jack, moving his hips across the CEO’s stomach impatiently. “I said I’ll love you forever and ever. Which, I guess, is a bad deal because I already love you forever and ever.”

“Love you too, princess.” Jack responded, his eyes still closed. “Now, please go back to sleep.”

Rhys tutted as Jack started to snore again, but Rhys wouldn’t allow it, poking the older man’s chest harshly.

“So,” the younger man carried on when he was sure Jack was listening, “did I do anything stupid last night?”

“Rhys…” Jack complained, reaching out to his boyfriend, who offered his hand to hold in return. “You mean you can’t remember, baby boy?”

“I was pretty out of it, Jacky.” Rhys blushed as he watched Jack bring his hand to his mouth, kissing along each of his fingers soothingly.

“You told me you had eight glasses, to be fair.” The CEO smiled, finally managing to open his eyes to look at the younger man on top of him. “That’s quite a lot of wine for an unsophisticated stomach like yours.”

“Don’t you go insulting my stomach.” Rhys retorted. “It’s plenty sophisticated.”

“Sure, whatever. I’m never gonna believe you’re sophisticated when you’ve got drool on the side of your mouth.” Jack mused, a tired grin making its way onto his features at the way Rhys brought his wrist up to his face to wipe the drool off. “You seriously can’t remember what happened yesterday?”

“The way you’re saying it makes it sound bad.” The younger man cringed, wiping his face a second time for good measure. “Go on, hit me with it.”

“No, baby, I think it’s better if you don’t know.” Jack pondered out loud, teasing his boyfriend with the secret knowledge of what had happened yesterday.

“I can take it, Jacky, I’m a big boy.” Rhys argued, trying his best to win Jack over by acting cute. “What’d I do? Puke somewhere I shouldn’t have puked? Take off all my clothes? Did you have to bail me out of jail again?”

“Worse.” Jack laughed.

“Worse…?” Rhys sighed inwardly before flopping down on top of Jack, snaking his arms around the older man’s neck. “Ugh.”

“Ugh.” Jack mocked, closing his eyes again as Rhys settled down, planting a kiss onto the younger man’s head lovingly.

Despite all the irresponsible things Rhys had ever done, Jack loved him all the same. Sure, he was a dork – a lightweight, fidgety, noodle-armed mess of long limbs and adorably silly little habits – but, dammit, he was Jack’s dork.

**Author's Note:**

> for anyone who's wondering, here's the refs we used for the boys' suits!!  
> Rhys: http://bit.ly/1Oekz4C  
> Jack: http://bit.ly/1Zh55jl
> 
> please feel free to drop me a message at http://supermagically.tumblr.com/ and PitchJack a message at http://nihongoochitsuite.tumblr.com/ ❤ ❤ ❤


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